Back in fourth grade at St. Anythony's Elementary School I had a memorable teacher, bless his soul, Mr.
Lazor . I liked him a lot, despite that
fact I would often get into trouble. His
punishment for talking in class was to grab the dictionary and a tablet of
paper and sit me outside the door of his classroom. He’d flip open to a random page and have me
start writing verbatim everything about each word until he came out to tell me
to stop. I’d like to think my vocabulary
increased tenfold as a result of my outgoing ways.
Now in class, I’m tasked with memorizing 150 drinks most of
which I’ll never make, drink, or
serve. Part of it feels like punishment
as I’d rather be talking flavored bitters and exploring ryes. That will be part two in my own
As the test approaches, I’m doubtful of a pass from the instructor. I know my earlier post eluded to my
competitive nature BUT, the bulk (150+) of the drinks in my study guide are
geared towards things like a Fuzzy Navel, Blow Job, Melon Ball, Banshee, and my
new favorite… Adios Mother Fucker (happy to provide recipes upon request). It has been implied that I could show up with
a bottle of Crown Royal and receive a pass.
To be honest, I’d rather go buy myself a great bottle of something,
invite some friends over and play bartender.